Thursday, September 28, 2006

Gritting my teeth to give thanks

I was having a chat with a friend by email when the system just stopped working and it has been frustrating trying to fix it. It is still not working and since Daddy was away, I couldn't even ask for his help since this is his area of expertise.
Now I am awake because Son No. 4 decided to go wandering about today in particular and wake us up and now I can't go back to sleep. I have come down to try to solve the email problem to no avail and today is going to be a busy day.
Lord have mercy on me and help me take things one at a time. There is nothing else I can do and this frustration will do nothing to help the situation.
In all things give thanks, the Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18.I am trying to do so with all my heart at this moment.
Give thanks.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Thank You, Father

For 2 days in a row now, I have had to take to my bed in the morning because I felt like I needed the rest and somehow I am not too happy with that especially since I haven't done any walking in a while now. I have been praying for physical strength so I have to keep thanking God for it. I have nothing to lose and with the way I have been feeling, I need it quite badly.
I haven't been able to stick to my new writing timetable but have been jotting things down in my journal to work on at the appropriate time.
I am just grateful that very soon it will all be over and there will be a new addition to the family. I am hoping that I will be able to get back into the swing of things once more.
The Lord is my Helper and the One who is always there to grant wisdom.
Thank You, Father.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Brussels was good for me

My husband and I went to Brussels for a day and a night and I really do feel like a new person. I feel a bit more energetic despite the baby and also feel more ready to have the baby. I have had to admit to myself lately that travel is a big interest of mine and I will have to take the time to invest in it somehow. I am interested in tourism and get enchanted with descriptions of exotic places and the different modes of travel.
Brussels was similar to Paris and yet different to it, just like human beings have similarities and yet are also all different.
The biggest surprise though was how short the trip was to Brussels via the Eurostar; we did it in less than 2 hours which was cool.
I definitely will be putting an envelope aside for holidays and each penny in there will multiply by faith.

At the same time , I am asking God to help me serve Him better and be more like a pig, where every part of me is being made use of to His kingdom.

Dreams are made of such...

Friday, September 22, 2006

Learning to focus

This week I have been doing my best not to let tiredness get the better of me. I have not been sleeping well for obvious reasons but also because I am a little restless; I know why I am restless and I am dealing with that. I need to go back to some basic things I have neglected to do with reading the Bible and prayer so I have addressed that very quickly. I cannot afford to live in disobedience or stubbornness.
A friend gave me some tapes on how to keep your focus and I am enjoying the message very much as well as the humour of the minister because he is so funny.
And it is the week when I have noticed that a particular friend of mine expects one to chat almost every day and live at a snail’s pace in a country that is very unlike the one we hail from. I am not an ultra-organized person and I am now learning to be more disciplined and organized so her efforts to get me to lose focus, albeit unknowingly, have had to be gently rebuffed. I am no longer a teenager but a mother of five in a few more weeks and quite frankly is it not high time that I hauled up my socks to achieve the dreams I believe God has given me?
Focus, Nana Yaa, I say to myself. Focus. Even if you don’t feel like it or feel up to it, you can pray anywhere and at any time. So pray, Nana and focus as well.
One step at a time, a day at a time.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Here again

I haven't been here for a long time now and it has been because of a lack of focus due to tiredness. I have managed to send a poem out and a piece that was rejected to another possible outlet for it and I have done some writing though it hasn't been much.
My tummy grows larger, the weeks are gradually passing by and I am praying for an easy delivery. If others have them, why not me?
Hopefully my energy levels will go up and then I can write something a bit lengthier.
And I am continuing to wean myself off looking out for emails. Not easy for a stay-at-home mum who sometimes craves some company.
Another step taken, another to go.
God is good to me all the time. Hmm

Friday, September 15, 2006

On the eve of my birthday

Today is the eve of another birthday for me and in some ways I feel strangely flat in emotions and I am not too sure whether it is the rain and the greyness outside or just me taking time to warm up as always. I am not at my best in the mornings most days and that must be why I am such a creature of the sun.

Last year I remember writing that I had a dream on the eve of my birthday, in which I had been given these precious seeds to guard and keep away from predators. A year on and I am not too sure what those seeds are but it is nothing unusual. My mom tells me it took a long time for me to walk and it seems like I am like that in a lot of ways; a very slow starter but when I get into my stride or into my groove, then I am not that slow and will do my best at the things I put my hand to. Sometimes I wish I were a bit quicker off the mark and wittier in conversations or sharing my opinions but it hasn’t happened yet, nor does it seem like it will change soon but the good thing is that those who know me well are quite patient with me.

There is a particular dilemma I am facing at the moment where I am being put under a bit of pressure to produce options or answers but now that I understand that I am more a "mulling" type of person instead of the "rapid-fire volley" type, I am not rushing to give any hasty answers. A bit of internal probing, questioning, meditation and prayer will bring out the best answers that will be apt for the situation and I have to go with that because I have proved that to work very well for myself.

So I am hoping to pick up in mood and emotions, as today progresses and hopefully that will carry on into tomorrow or into my dreams tonight about exactly what those precious seeds are. Thank God for the long shelf-life of seeds; thank God for His patience with this slow child; thank God for another year that has come by so quickly.
A step at time, a day at a time.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Just obey ... GIVE

I have often felt a bit limited and frustrated at not having a substantial income to do some of the things that I want to do or indulge in a little bit of pampering; so for a few years now I have gone back to the biblical teaching on prosperity and I am quite familiar with some verses now on what I need to do.

The funny thing is that I used to practise these things in Ghana when I became a Christian some 18 years ago. I didn't know I was doing that but with hindsight, I realise just how blessed I was financially. I wasn't too savvy then to get into investments and savings and the like so most of the money was used on treats and on things for school. Anyway, now that I am going back to my roots as it were, I am finding a lot of challenges because I believe my faith is being tested in that area. I still get frustrated at the apparent stillness of my finances but I am holding on fast to the promises of God.

Lately I have been thinking about the verse Luke 6:38 where Jesus said to give and it shall be given you in abundance and overflow ( paraphrased) and I am noticing something. There is the first part and then the second.

The first part is to GIVE and the results will follow. I am doing my best to focus on the part that is mine to obey for therein lies the breakthrough. The questions I have,"When, Lord? Who, Lord? How, Lord?" have to give way to obeying that one word- instruction to GIVE.

Hard on the flesh but certainly possible to do. Father, thank You always for Your patience and mercy upon this child.
A step at a time and I will get there.
Thank you, Lord.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006


I finally managed to send out the one letter and guess what? I forgot to add my address, telephone number and email address. I have been out of practice for so long. Anyway, not to worry; the objective was to send something out and I have managed to do that after several false starts. I feel smug this morning.
We live to try another day.
Thank God for today.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Daydreams are made of such ...

If I had grown up in this part of the world, I would probably have to sue my mother for not allowing me to be a lawyer after reading Rage of Angels. First I wanted to be a pathologist or a coroner when I was quite young; where that came from, I really can’t tell but I think it was to do with my early exposure to detective stories and then I set my sights on being a lawyer but my mother wouldn’t allow me. Her father told her that lawyers were liars and that sealed my fate, so to speak.

The reasons for this revisit to my childhood dreams is because I am getting serious withdrawal symptoms after reading all the Linda Fairstein books in our local libraries. I have just fallen in love with her character so much, (one of the feisty female detectives who seem to be my role models in certain ways) that I had to return some other crime novels that I borrowed unread, because of Alex. I do love very male characters as well but the female detectives just seem to nurture or fuel my adventurous nature.

Alexander Cooper is the female protagonist in Linda’s books and she is far from perfect but very brave and I am in love once again. Until Kathy Reichs or Sue Grafton or Sara Paretsky has another title on the shelves of my local library, I shall be pining for a few more days… or weeks. Please, not months.

If my mother had allowed me to be a lawyer or something along the lines of the authors of these novels, I would be probably be churning out my own such stories and novels.

Hmmm. Nothing like dreaming for a bit of self-indulgence.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Growing up

It is never easy for me to learn anything new but my attitude is improving, I must say and I am not getting too down on myself when I miss a goal or a deadline. For that I am truly grateful. Life is too short to spend it in regret.

My favourite players are exiting the US Open rather too quickly but hey, it's just a game, Nana. There will always be another tournament and another year and new players will take the place of the old. Just a fact of life.

If I want to leave a legacy, then I must also continue with my improved attitude and keep trying when I get off track and fall at a hurdle.
A step at a time, a day at a time.

Monday, September 04, 2006

A new term

Today is the last day of the summer holidays for the boys; I think somehow they are looking forward to going back to school. I can't say I am looking forward to packing the lunchboxes but I think they are probably looking forward to seeing other children apart from each other. I will have to iron some shirts, jumpers and the like today.
I have decided that I will not do more than 2 sessions at the Adult Education Centre; I will just take it easy and also do a day at a time. I feel as if this week has crawled but it probably is all in my mind.
Whatever happens, today is a day the Lord has made and we will rejoice in it. I hope to be back with a more interesting post later on in the day.
Because wisdom has come about the writing and I am going to do my best to stick to it.
God is sooooo gooooood.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Peace, be still

On some days, one literally wakes up buoyant and in a great mood; on others it is hard enough to get out of bed, much more attend to the needs of others. Today has begun the way of the wanting to be left alone but I have learnt that it only makes things worse so I am going to beat it, in Jesus' Name. It is my mom's birthday today and it has all been negative news which is all the more discouraging. One of my most fervent prayers is for my mother to be content with what she has. It is an attitude thing and I think it is much harder when you are older to have an attitude shift but highly possible too.

When I feel myself getting into negativity, I imagine myself as a spring being oiled,with a drop of oil just starting its way from the top to the bottom and smoothing out the kinks. To me, the oil represents the Holy Spirit who is soothing me and calming me and smoothing out the frustrations and negative things I am dealing with and that image calms me down. I pray as well and read a favourite psalm or two and I experience the peace of God come over me.
It is important to keep in mind that God is always watching over me and that His will for my life will come to pass if I walk in obedience. Peace, be still, my soul.