Friday, September 15, 2006

On the eve of my birthday

Today is the eve of another birthday for me and in some ways I feel strangely flat in emotions and I am not too sure whether it is the rain and the greyness outside or just me taking time to warm up as always. I am not at my best in the mornings most days and that must be why I am such a creature of the sun.

Last year I remember writing that I had a dream on the eve of my birthday, in which I had been given these precious seeds to guard and keep away from predators. A year on and I am not too sure what those seeds are but it is nothing unusual. My mom tells me it took a long time for me to walk and it seems like I am like that in a lot of ways; a very slow starter but when I get into my stride or into my groove, then I am not that slow and will do my best at the things I put my hand to. Sometimes I wish I were a bit quicker off the mark and wittier in conversations or sharing my opinions but it hasn’t happened yet, nor does it seem like it will change soon but the good thing is that those who know me well are quite patient with me.

There is a particular dilemma I am facing at the moment where I am being put under a bit of pressure to produce options or answers but now that I understand that I am more a "mulling" type of person instead of the "rapid-fire volley" type, I am not rushing to give any hasty answers. A bit of internal probing, questioning, meditation and prayer will bring out the best answers that will be apt for the situation and I have to go with that because I have proved that to work very well for myself.

So I am hoping to pick up in mood and emotions, as today progresses and hopefully that will carry on into tomorrow or into my dreams tonight about exactly what those precious seeds are. Thank God for the long shelf-life of seeds; thank God for His patience with this slow child; thank God for another year that has come by so quickly.
A step at time, a day at a time.


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