Friday, May 30, 2008

Beware what you respond to and who you respond to

There is someone in my life who takes ( I should say there is more than one person in my life like that but...) and takes and takes and it took me years to realize that about her, even though another friend had mentioned it to me.

Anyway, now that I have sussed that about her, I keep her very much at arm's length; she recently passed a comment about me that in times past I would have been quick to defend myself about . Now that I know she is not all sugar and spice and all that's nice and is not as naive as I previously thought, I just let the comment wash over me and kept my peace.

As one grows up and is maturing and learning more about life and people, it is important to know what to respond to and who to respond to. If you have been a pleaser like I have been before it is so very easy to feel guilty when you are not running around pleasing people and heeding to their heartfelt pleas.

Life is too short to live in guilt or fear or resentment. It is for freedom that Christ set me free and I am doing my best to heed to His voice in my daily minutes.

Thanks be to God for His grace each day, Amen.

Ticking off the boxes

Living in a developed country (as it is termed) with its fast pace has its own stresses and strains. Some days I find that I am just ticking the boxes as it were because I am very tired.
Take for example, listening to the boys read: a lot of the time I have to make the effort to really listen to them and appreciate what they are doing because there is the endless list of errands and chores to attend to and it sometimes feels like one cannot spare a few minutes to do the more important things.
It is something I am doing my best to stop doing so that I can invest the time at home with the kids in more meaningful ways than doing the barest mininum for them and I believe that means I must also take the time to do things that nurture me like praying, reading and writing.
I do not want to just tick boxes and look back with regret a few years down the line. What is this life if full of care we have no time to stand and stare?
Thank You, Father for Your daily grace, Amen.

Monday, May 26, 2008


During the week I got a phrase for myself," Do not panic" that my coach has suggested to change into "Relax"; and this was to do with my writing.
As I know well enough, feeling harried and rushed do nothing for the creative juices and I must indeed take this advice to heart and take each day as it comes. I have to get better organized and also cook in batches so that I can release a few more minues into my day.
Relax, Nana, relax into your destiny. Enter into the rest of God, Amen.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

where to begin?

Where to begin? Each time I lose momentum or get disrupted with the writing regime, it takes me a while to bounce back. I am hoping the interruptions will lessen with time and that I will also be able to focus in the midst of the demands of the family.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The two great passions

I have been very extravagant the past few weeks; I have been on a buying spree with books and have declared a fast which I broke today. I had declared a fast from spending some more this month because my reading is millions of miles behind the volumes I have been hauling in, but I was tempted in the library today by their very enticing book sale.

I must say that I smile rather smugly to myself when I look around me and see my books because some of them have been brilliant textbooks from the charity shops.

The two great passions in my life are writing and teaching and I have always said that the writing supersedes the teaching. At the moment though I look at my Maths textbooks and my eyes light up and gleam and in moments like these, I think the passion for teaching quite matches that for writing. I can hardly wait for an eager student who shares the same passion for Maths and is willing to work through example after example to come up with the right and satisfying conclusion. Just like I wait patiently for the great idea to percolate through which needs writing and will be a great work of art.

Bottom line: I must carve out more time for both these passions.

A day at a time and with much perseverance and faith, I do my best to fan them both.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Lord, I need help

I am in a situation where I need a breakthrough very quickly. Lord, please help me appropriate the grace that is available and grant me accelerated progress in Jesus' Mighty Name. I need a solution to this impasse and also wisdom to do that which is pleasing in Your sight.
Grant me Your favour and insight, Father and come quickly to my rescue. Amen.