Friday, June 30, 2006

This and that

I will be finishing the Learner Support course very soon. We were supposed to hand in our portfolios this Wednesday but unsurprisingly, not even the eager beavers among us had finished it. A week after a three-hour exam to produce all our documents and observations and the like was asking for a bit too much. I was reading lots of storybooks and discovering new authors but I should finish by next Wednesday if I want to free up my time to do more interesting things.
After the PGCE implosion last year, I have made a list of the things that need doing so that I am not afflicted by the paralysis I sometimes get hit with or the boredom when I don’t want to do what needs doing ; so I have a to-do list at the back of my journal for that.

Last Friday I had an observation by the overall boss of the Adult Education Centre and I was very jittery and tired from the intense revision for the exam. Each time I was gripped with fear, I would pray and speak calmly to myself and overall it did go well. His comments were very useful and I do not have to do another observation again until … the next time I go to school, I guess. He made two comments that were quite amusing though. He said I was a bit too laidback but thought I had a very calming voice. The laid-back bit did not surprise me because I have heard it quite often and I do not deny it one bit. Try staying at home with four young boys and if you do not get laidback, you will go grey within months. I do confess that I was laidback before having the boys but having run a kingdom at home for this long has made me lost touch with being professional and I have mentioned it to my coach before that it is sometimes a hindrance. Funny enough someone commented this week that I am very professional so I must be showing some improvement already after Friday. The calming voice, I don’t know what to say about because a lot of the boys in my engineering class used to tease me about it but I kind of like it. Then again someone has said my voice is very bland which brings me to another point. (I did say it was going to be a bit of this and that.)

For those of us who come from Ghana, a bit of the World Cup fever has been dampened down because our team was kicked out by Brazil but no worries. Wimbledon is on offer for the tennis fans and whoever said that a sport is bigger than any of the sportswomen or men does have a point but let’s face it, some of the players in any of the sports are compelling to watch and learn about, whether you like them or loathe them. Even since the Williams sisters lost their stranglehold on the game, my attentions have been drawn to the men’s side of things now. Federer is my most favourite playere. And I know a number of people who have lost interest in the women’s games too for the same reason. Some people have pizzazz and let’s face it, Serena and Venus had it in tons, especially Serena. What a character. I am missing her very much even though it is Venus I adore because you know where you stand with Serena. She plays to win. Venus these days, is very shaky or rather shakier than before and sometimes it is too painful to watch her play because of her unforced errors but those legs are so regal that I keep watching on and off with heart in mouth hoping she wins just one more match. Try taking Tiger Woods out of golf and you will see what I mean. The sports will thrive and do well without them but sometimes you do need a star in any arena to provide some fizz, so I am hoping that Serena will be back with a bang to stir things up and put a poker in the fire.

Just as I am hoping that I will be a star teacher in my homeland some day and a star writer/ author in my circle of influence.
I will have to do something about the laidback attitude while I preach to myself.

Speak to me, o sweet Voice of calm, speak to me.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Time to knuckle down

I have been vegetating since last Wednesday and it is time to finish off the Learner support course. I have been feasting on storybooks by new authors and I have to get back to business and finish by next Wednesday; then I will be as free as possible to do the things that I have been jotting down to do. Not many of them, since it is mainly the writing I want to give myself a chance with.
A little every day will surely help and then I will sit down over the weekend as well to fill in more forms.
Somehow I have been receiving fewer and fewer emails so come Thursday the 6th of July, I will have no further excuse not to sit down and write, especially since things have been looking up in the writing arena.
I re-recommend The Artist's Way if you are a blocked creative; it will stir up fire in your bones.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Showing up

I want to post something here but I don't know what to write. Some great writers recommend that showing up is necessary even when you feel like you have nothing to write. And so I have turned up with nothing to write. I have discovered another author: Harlan Coben and I had to finish the book of his I borrowed yesterday. Is it not amazing how some people are such great storytellers?
So I have written my piece for today and I can go to bed with that satisfaction of having turned up. It is the best I can do for today.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Exam relief

I haven't written anything for a few days now because I have been busy revising for an exam. I took it today and it was tougher than expected but for one of the very rare times, I was as prepared as I could be in my current state; I am glad it is over. I am feeling a little bored and wish I could do something exciting, like go on a holiday or chat to a very good friend. I have to entertain myself somehow.

At the same time, there are piles of washing to be folded and loads more to wash, a sink full of dirty dishes and books to read to my youngest. A woman's work is never done but I can look forward to only two more weeks of formal school and then put my feet up and think a bit more about this writing ånd how to give it my all.

Friday, June 16, 2006

God's grace alone

I am so tired and thank God it is Friday. Tomorrow is another busy day and I have to take the boys out to a school fair/fete. There is something about young children that is so draining, delightful as they can be and I have had one of those days with the boys; one of those days that gets me yearning for a day out on my own without any company .
I just make it to the end of the day (on days like these) by God's grace alone.
Thank You, Father for Your grace and Your mercy.

Monday, June 12, 2006

PD James

I shamefully confess that after years of making a resolution to read a novel by PD James, I am finally reading one and I am enchanted and entranced. There are writers and there are writers. I love the language and I am feeling that full feeling when I discover a good author.

PD James: behold another fan.

One more step

Federer lost to Nadal again, I did not get to do any of the work I had planned to do and I didn't do any writing either; but I got some comments on my blog from an unidentified person and I feel so blessed and happy and motivated to keep writing even if there is no audience! But, thank you very much, whoever sent me the comments; you have put a smile on my face.

I am hoping for more productivity for this week and also for some more focus which I seem to be getting; I am grateful for that so much. It is frustrating to have a weakness that takes so much to conquer but a step at a time is surely a step in the right direction.

There is no evening class tonight so let's see what I can fit in during the evening if I am not glued to the telly watching any of the football matches.

A step at a time.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Amazing answer

It seems like I am becoming a little bit more focussed than I normally am and I am very grateful for that. I am writing a bit more in my journal which is always good for letting the ideas flow. Sometimes they seem to be stuck somewhere but as the more established writers advise: just write. You get even more stuck if you refuse to face the blank screen or take out a pen or a pencil and one must also not try too hard to get published or the joy of writing is lost.

I am also grateful for someone who has come into my life and believes in me and understands what it means to be å writer. Some admire and applaud but cannot offer more than that. To have someone believe in you is humbling, it is energizing, it is powerful and it is a gift.

Thank You, Father for answering my prayer for a godly, female, Christian mentor.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

I smile

Yesterday was the last day of the writing class and I got the award for the sunniest disposition. Not bad at all but I would have preferred to have won something for my writing. Anyhow, my teacher was fair and gave each according to their output. I am hoping to go back in September and even if I miss out on some of the lessons I think I would still like to show up for the simple reason that listening to other people's exploits does motivate me and encourage me to keep trying to put something on paper.

September is some way away but I hope that as my birthday treat I will pay for another year to be with a group of writers once more.

I smile at the prospect.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

E go!

Yesterday I went for a meeting with some friends and I came back quite pensive because of some of the things we had discussed. One of them was to do with the ego of men; it seems to be an issue in a lot of situations - in marriage, at the workplace and even in age-old romance. Why do simple things need to be so difficult with men? I really wonder but whatever the case, I believe that I have to be careful not to let it cramp my style or silence me forever. There are many ways of killing a cat and I shall keep on searching for what works in different situations.

E go!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Hard work and relaxation

I went swimming yesterday after a long break away from it and loved it. I came back with very red eyes though because I find it a burden to wear goggles but I think I have to, seeing how red my eyes look when I get home. I also went to school for a bit of revision with my course mates and once again it was good. All the ladies in there are very nice and one of them in particular is very helpful and always eager to help each of us progress in one way or the other. Talking about school reminds me of all the hard work that I have to do to finish this course. Come the 5th of July and I will be smiling.

On another note, I have been reading The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron and it is a very helpful book. This is not my first reading or my second or even third, but I find that some books get better as you re-read them and some of the things you might have overlooked the first time light up for you on a second or third reading. This time round I am scribbling all over the book and jotting down the ideas that come to mind.
The best thing that has happened with it so far though is one of my friends I lent it to now has her own copy and another one is going to buy herself a copy. That in my world is progress; spreading the goodness of something I am reading.
I hope my book will one day will be recommended in this same way.