Sunday, July 30, 2006

Godliness better than cleanliness

It is after two in the morning and I can't sleep for two good reasons: my head is throbbing from a new hairstyle and I can't seem to get into a comfortable position today. I don't know whether that is due to the way the baby is positioned or the mattress or just having gone to bed a bit early tonight. Whatever it is I have had to come down instead of tossing and turning so much.

It has been a good weekend on the one hand and a trying one on the other; quite ironic when I just wrote about These Halcyon Days. I am getting more and more irritated by the way the boys are misbehaving when they are supposed to tidy up and especially in my state at the moment, I wish they would just obey instantly and not make me talk so much. The place is always in one big mess and there is only so much that I can do.

I know I should keep persevering in prayer about their behaviour and I am trying my best to, but it seems like I really am now hanging on with my teeth and fingernails. And I have been encouraging another friend to keep persevering in prayer just yesterday. What to do especially when there is nothing I can do in my own strength?

Keep praying and believing that this too shall pass and focus on other things. Life is too short to spend thinking and fretting over the perfect and tidy home when you have 4 boys. I am hoping to be spared another if it is God's will.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Thank you for the rest

I have been a bit sluggish this morning and don't know why, but I am peppering up now. I have sent out the Friday column though I didn't feel like I had anything sensible to write but I have to keep it up even when it doesn't feel like it is good enough.
The good thing though is that I am sticking to a regime and no two days can be the same.
On a more positive note, chatting to a friend yesterday helped me write a romantic poem and I haven't been able to write poetry for a long time now so I went to bed very happy.
Obviously the rest is doing me a lot of good; how to convince my friends that their emails also stimulate me a lot.Hmm.
Thank You, Father for all my friends and also for this gift of writing.
I shall do my best with it each day.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Enjoying the break

Yesterday I didn't feel too sleepy or tired during the day and I started walking once again which gave me such joy in my heart and I was hoping that today would be the same. However I have had 2 naps already and my eyes are drooping now as I write. Ah well, no two days are the same, are they? I will do my best for today.

And I did do some writing yesterday too which I will do my best to continue today. A step at a time, remember? I do find that it is very relaxing to have the boys at home even though they squabble a lot but at least I am not going in and out dropping and picking them up which is nice. I don't know whether I will change my mind in a few days time but let's enjoy today.

I am also reading a lot of thrillers that are indeed thrilling me.
What is it that makes me like feisty lady detectives so much? Is it because I fancy myself as one? Who knows?
The number one lady's detective agency; in my dreams. Hmmm, an intriguing idea.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Home life and home study

The boys are finally on vacation and I am happy about that because I will not have to do any lunchboxes for about six weeks and also there will be no ferrying back and forth unless I feel like it.
So far I have been sleeping a lot and reading as well but also jotting down little things and praying about the writing and what I need to learn. I do want to go to another level and leave this comfort zone and try other things. Even if I fail, I will learn from the experience. I want to be a persevering writer who breaks through so that I can teach others to do the same. For someone who relishes comfort and does not like criticism much, that will be tough on me but a step in the right direction, I feel.
How else do I grow except for stretching myself?
Six weeks of home study; that should be interesting.

Friday, July 21, 2006

No outing again today

I was disappointed again today but I was surprisingly ok about it. Maybe I am maturing? I am really glad that it is the end of term for the boys though and hopefully one can start going for short walks again if the weather is not too hot.
I have quite a number of things I have an interest in that I want to look at so I am hoping to shake off the lethargy and get going on them.
I somehow feel as if I have to reach another level with the writing; I have become a bit comfortable with the Friday column and I can feel the inner dissatisfaction of knowing I could add to this type of writing. I started writing devotionals last year and would like to get back to that now that I have the time.
And I need to understand that I might probably not have as much time on my hands once baby arrives.
I wonder whether anyone out there needs time boundaries to make them productive? I want to get out of that and be motivated at all times.
Each day is another to try to make progress.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

No show

I was so looking forward to an outing today with two friends but one of them didn't show up. I hope she is well and not suffering in the heat.
Anyway, we are thinking about doing it tomorrow, the other lady and I. That should take away some of the disappointment.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

The Lord's blessing

Yesterday was one of those days; one of those you want to erase not because any disasters happened but rather because it was one filled with a sense of discontentment and children squabbling and a friend surprising you with her behaviour. I am glad to say that in the light of another day, today feels much better and in the grand scheme of things, yesterday is gone.
I managed to do some writing which was good, I finished a novel which was also good and above all, I had a good night's sleep.

Lamentations 3:22 ,23 say that the Lord's mercies are renewed towards us every morning and His love is always present, never-ending. What a great blessing to have Someone who is always there for me no matter what the day holds or how I feel.
This is the day He has made and so I will rejoice in it and be glad.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Vacation plans

This is the first week of my vacation away from school, whether as a student or a volunteer and I hope I get in as much rest as possible while I go about my daily duties. The boys are still in school so there are presents to be given to teachers and work to be looked at and the like. It all ends on Friday and what bliss.
I am hoping for fruitfulness and good health and strength and above all, spiritual growth that permeates all my life as a mother, wife and friend.
Nothing but the blood of Jesus heals and restores and redeems and gives favour in all things.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Email junkie

I think I am going to have to follow the advice of many and check my email fewer times in the day than I normally do. I get so few emails these days that I am being tempted to subscribe to numerous newsletters so that I can fool myself into thinking I am one popular girl. I jest but not about the checking of emails. Because I am a writer, I value words so much whether they are found in books, as letters and notes or on objects.
I have to write some of my own and check that inbox a few less times in a day.

Monday, July 10, 2006

The quest for new love

I don't know whether I have written about discovering a new author; it is like falling in love all over again and one goes through similar emotions. Will they live up to your expectations or not? Will they soothe you as you want to be soothed and put a smile on your face when you think about them?
That has been my quest for the last few weeks; discovering other authors and so far it has been going well. I am adding to my list and now I have discovered another feisty, female detective created by the author Sara Paretsky and I am thoroughly hooked.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

On days like these...

I should have handed in my portfolio today but hadn't finished everything yet so one more week to go. I am still feeling as free as a bird but thoroughly bored as well even though I have things to do. I just want to chat to someone interesting, I think, or travel and I am also thinking of how to earn an income as well, to be able to afford little treats when I want them.

These are the times when I really do miss my homeland where I had quite a number of people to talk to. My social life is a bit limited over here and on days like these, I feel the vacuum very much. Thankfully it will not last too long and I will look again at my to-do list and pick out something a bit stimulating to do.

To another thing achieved.