Tuesday, May 30, 2006

All things are possible

As I read a lot of motivational stuff, my mind is being transformed to one of doing what one thinks is worth doing. The old enemies procrastination and laziness are always on hand to hamper me but mentally I do now believe very much in what the Bible says about all things being possible with God. I am praying for a renewed zeal for prayer and meditating in the Word of God for therein lies divine power to break strongholds.

I also have been working with a life coach over some years now and the one thing that I have taken on board this year is to be more assertive. Of course not everyone is in favour with me not being my usual agreeable self all the time but I find that I feel a new sense of purpose and confidence as I assert myself about what I want without being selfish.

No one can fulfil your dreams on your behalf or do the things you think should be done. You have to get up and go and dream and believe that they shall come to pass.

And though I am struggling with such cold in summer time, I shall do my best to act daily, even if it is to write one sentence.

Thank You, Father , always and ever for your grace and your mercy.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Half-term

It is half-term and I am so glad for the break from school runs. The journey is not far but it is tedious after a while. I have more assignments to do though so I will still be busy on another front.

Hopefully, I will also do some writing.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

It shall come to pass

Today I bought two copies of our class anthology from the writing class I attend. Though I haven't graced the classroom with my appearance this term, I still think of how helpful the classes have been to me in terms of motivation. I am hoping the anthologies will spur me on.

And I finally feel that the muddling along is coming to an end, and I hope that I will attain some form of publication once again this year.

I must keep on saying that I am a published writer and it shall come to pass.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Pressing on

Sometimes I go through periods of muddling along for a long time and it seems as if nothing is happening. Now that I have recognised when it is happening, I am better equippped to handle it. The simple answer to "what should I do now?" is to go back to the basics and to keep persevering. There is no other way around it.
One cannot force creativity but one can create the conducive environment for it and keep praying that you discover your form again. Just like I believe that Arsenal will come back to form again, I must believe that I will get into the groove once again.
I am pressing on in faith and definitely in prayer.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

The inward voice

I am finally up-to-date with my assignments and I feel very relieved about that. I still have loads of paperwork to do but I am abreast with my fellow students now. It is good to make sacrifices for a goal, I am learning. I should have learnt this at a much younger age but better late than never.
My gut feeling proved to be right and I am vindicated; however I will not let it spoil or soil a good friendship. Life is too short for that and I will keep on heeding to that inward voice.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Gut feeling

Sometimes one has an instinct about something and because it could be a ridiculous thought, you dismiss it only to your own peril. I have had this nebulous thought about being careful what I say to particular people and the people in question or rather in mind say some things or behave in certain ways that dispel the feeling but in one distinctive case at the moment, the thought kind of goes away and them comes back again.
Some people think there is nothing like intuition but I have heeded to mine before and I have been proved right. I think that contrary to what I see, I shall take heed and rather repent if the thought/feeling goes away. So far as it remains, this lady will be careful to keep her mouth firmly shut.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

In the company of cheerful ladies

This is not my title; it is the title of one of the books by Alexander McCall Smith and it is an apt title for me today.

Yesterday I went for my usual Wednesday class and two of us were missing, but the rest of us had a good laugh during lunch time as we gathered round for our break. Only one of our teachers was present and it was our male tutor so he could not laugh with us as we talked about pregnancy and childbirth.

And why were we talking about pregnancy and childbirth? Well, it was all for my sake. I am pregnant once again just when I was toddling along with other things apart from being pregnant and breastfeeding and it has certainly been a big surprise to me. I will not be the first or the last to be surprised in this way and in a world where some are desperately seeking by whatever means to have a baby, it might come as a shock to some to know that not every pregnancy is a welcome one.This one certainly was not and it has taken me fourteen weeks to be ok with it now.

I have been listless, unmotivated, bored, frustrated, angry sometimes, miserable, self-pitying and more, but I am getting back to my normal self. The only thing is that I am yet to get back to the writing regime and routine.

Well, a day at a time and in the company of such cheerful ladies, my good spirits will be back to 100%.

( this was supposed to be posted yesterday!)

random musings